Date Night MEETS Supporting Black Business MEETS Greedies

While scrolling through our FB Timelines one day we came across an article from IDon’tDoClubs.com entitled 60 Black Owned Restaurants and Bars In New York City and Brooklyn.

As we read the list we noticed a few places that we already know and love (shout out to the homies/owners of Amarachi Prime and Rustik)! But, there were a bunch of places that we did not know existed and others that we did not know were black owned. Some of those places are in our own neighborhood! (Flatbush is on the come up y’all… get ready). 

As we looked at the list and placed mental *stars* around the restaurants that we probably would not go to because there wasn’t enough time, we fondly remembered that we actually used to do date nights, during the week when Lady C was younger. We realized that we needed to TAKE BACK OUR DATE NIGHTS!! And now we also had a road map with places to try!

Date night.

Supporting Local Black Businesses.

Eating and Drinking.

So, the big GreenEs are going to try to visit as many of these places as we can and then tell you about it.

First place we visited: SUEDE, a Caribbean restaurant in East Flatbush, Brooklyn, owned by a St. Lucian woman. 

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So how did we feel about Suede? 

In sum, what they lacked in professional service (the waiter forgot we were there, admitted that he forgot us and apologized) was made up for in yummy and filling Caribbean eats. Hayden is Caribbean and thought the food was pretty tasty. Yes, you can probably get the same food on Church Avenue for $7.50 but it’s actually nice to eat on a plate instead of aluminum pans or Styrofoam from time to time and the prices were reasonable. It was definitely a family friendly spot with tons of kids and strollers around the place. It looked like families stopped in for dinner. This may be a plus or minus for some. We would go again, but mostly because it is pretty close for us. Suede was ok – and we were happy to support by being quintessential Hayden and Aisha – Hayden with a Shandy, Aisha with Pinot. ShandyandWine… so GreenE.

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Now we just need to decide where to go for our next date night! If you’ve been to any place on the list, preferably in Brooklyn, please give us your referrals! 

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Way Too Married To….

Marriage has a lot of benefits…

Love and stuff.

Lifetime partnership and all that jazz.

Even some financial benefits!

Yeah… marriage is kinda cool.

When I earned my Mrs. nearly 9 years ago it dawned on me that another benefit is that I would never have to do certain things again. Not because I can’t… but because I really don’t want to and I have a great guy *pats hubby on the back* who will do certain of those things for me. One of those things is SHOVELING SHOW. I haven’t shoveled snow in years! I’ve sprinkled some salt here and there and I’ve even “managed” the shoveling process – (me: “Hey baby, you should shovel”) but I don’t do it no mo’. That was until this weekend when dear sweet Hayden was out of town – in Florida warmth no less.

I posted about it on Facebook:

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Folks thought the term “way too married” was hysterical and immediately people started inboxing me saying that should be on a shirt… so well, I did that. I created a “Way Too Married” tee and I think I may do more because there are a lot of other things I (and other wives) are #waytoomarried to do.

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If you like the shirt, hope you will buy it. It will only be printed and you will only be charged if 50 shirts are sold. Who knows, maybe this could be something *shrug*… Anyway, let’s give it a shot! Shirts are available at http://teespring.com/waytoomarriedtees!

So – I’m #waytoomarried to shovel snow… what are some of the things you are #waytoomarried to do?

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Oops…my bad!

We teach our kids a lot of lessons:

  • How to tie your shoes laces.
  • How to eat properly at the table.
  • The value of play and exercise.
  • What is the proper way to be a Jets fan.

One of the most important lessons that we teach our children is taking responsibility for your actions. In our house, Lady C ALWAYS has a reason why the thing that just happened “wasn’t her fault”:

 “You stopped me before I could do the right thing.”

“I didn’t mean to but Grandma made me do it.”

“I thought you said to do it.”

“So-and-so did it so I can’t be blamed for my actions.”

Just a few weeks ago, I stopped her from spouting one of her many excuses and said,

Just own up to it and say I’m sorry. Don’t blame someone else for your actions!

Good advice…so I thought.

Until recently, when I realized that I wasn’t following myself!

I had done something wrong (as we husbands are prone to do) and immediately I started spewing a bunch of excuses (you know: the tools of the weak and incompetent, used to build monuments of nothingness? Yeah…those!). All of a sudden I heard the words that I had told my daughter coming from my wife’s mouth… to me. Jarring. In that moment, I realized a few things:

Sometimes we need to listen to our own advice/lessons. Children can make you revisit the basics of human behavior because they’re at the starting blocks of their life. The lessons they’re learning should still be important to us but we forget sometimes.

Watch your actions: you’re kids are watching. I know we hear that all the time but most of the time we’re talking about really bad stuff like drinking, smoking, or domestic violence. It applies to bad habits like making excuses too. Now, I don’t know that Lady C sees that from me and copies it, but now I will be conscious of it.

Be easy on your kids: they’re still learning. Sometimes I get frustrated that I have to say the same thing over and over again. After a while you should get this, right? Well clearly, some things stay with us all of our life and we have to keep working on it. If I’m still hammering away at it, it stands to reason that it’s an even more difficult concept for a kid to grasp!

Have you ever had to take a step back and take your own advice? What did that look like for you?

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The Marriage Journal: Free Therapy

Almost minutes after our feature in Ebony magazine, we had folks inboxing us and commenting about the article and in particular, there were questions about the reference to our marriage journal. It was a very quick mention in the article but people want to know more about it.

CaptureSo here is the scoop on the marriage journal. First, it was an idea that was 10000000% stolen from another couple. Can’t remember who it was but pretty sure it was stolen from a member of Chocolate Brides, an online network of women of color started by radio personality, Kesha Monk.  The women on Chocolate Brides share experiences and advice in marriage, love, family and parenting. Anyway – someone mentioned doing a marriage journal and we jumped on the idea because it’s cheaper than therapy. (Side note: if you aren’t part of a network of people that support love and marriage, well, get you some, whether online or in life, marriage is a flower that needs plenty of sunshine. End Side Note).

At the beginning of each new year we post our marriage resolutions. All of the things we would like to change or do differently and acknowledging the things that work. Putting it on paper, having it serve as a consistent reminder of the growth we desire. After that, there are no rules to the marriage journal other than to write when we want to write. We write anything from short notes to long complaints to thank yous. When someone writes in the journal they need to leave it on the pillow for the other person to see. It actually makes you giddy, like you are getting a love note passed down in high school *butterflies*. We look forward to seeing that journal on the pillow unless it is following an argument…

wpid-20150203_070133.jpgThe truth is – the journal is not as filled as it could be – wish we took the time to write in it more and that’s actually one of our resolutions for the year because we like doing it when we do it but sometimes… LIFE.

So – that’s it – marriage journal. Stolen idea and now shared with you. If you have other ideas about free and quick marriage therapy please do share, and be prepared for us to steal that idea too!

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What’s your secret?

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I love my wife and I believe that we are happy. That happiness takes work as marriage should. Also, it’s not always a love fest: there are good times and bad times. But people see the good times and often time ask us the age old question: “what’s your secret?” Welp…for the first time, never before revealed anywhere, I am about to tell you our secret….here it is folks…

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WE DON’T HAVE ONE!!!

Seriously. We don’t. We we do have is a dedication to being fresh. Not THAT kind of fresh! (well actually, yes, that kind of fresh too but that’s a different blog!) What I am referring to is keeping the relationship fresh. We draw inspiration from everywhere and we try tons of things. Sometimes we will do regular date nights. When that gets difficult, we try love notes. If that becomes corny, we try journaling. And some times it’s multiple things.

The point is that we enjoy the great experiences that make being marriage fun and we pay attention to the times that will need some attention. Why? The truth is that the rough patches tend to multiply and string together if left unattended. Before you know it, you’ve spent a month being pissed at each other and you’re wondering why you liked spending time with this person.  When you are having fun with each other, talk about how you can CONTINUE to have fun. It’s much tougher to do that when you are struggling to smile. It’s like food shopping when you’re hungry. You’ll make BAD decisions!  Actually that might be the secret!

You heard it here first…

Introducing the GreenEs….

Welcome to “That’s GreenE with An E”… a family blog about marriage and parenting in the city.

This is not your typical parenting blog featuring only the female voice. This parenting and marriage thing works because it involves two of us so we will share the perspective of both of us with you.

We are going to give you a glimpse into our family which is filled with tons of comedy and reality while we raise our two daughters in the city.

familE

family photoDad: Hayden
Mom: Aisha
Children: Lady C (the school kid) and Lady H (the toddler)
We are… the GreenEs!
All of us will be pretty involved in the blog and have a presence. Most of the content will come from mom and dad but from time to time you might be see quotes, photography or artwork from the GreenE kids.

comedE

Seriously – not sure how anyone does this family thing without a huge dose of humor. So on this blog expect a little lot of sarcasm and humor. On a bad day – we hope we make you smile or laugh.

realitE

Our family is not perfect – this blog won’t be perfect. We won’t be dishing out advice so much as discussing our reality and quite often, we will be ASKING for advice and feedback.

Also, if you are looking for a blog with magical crafts that you will share broadly on Pinterest… you are in the wrong place. That’s not the GreenE’s expertise.

cityE

The silent member of our family is New York City, our home sweet home. We try to take advantage of all the things that our city offers and weave adult city fun with our kids in tow. We are always on a hunt for fun things to do with our kids. So if you know of cool things to do – please TELL US!

We look forward to journeying with you!

The GreenEs

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