Aisha’s Answer to Regret: #TuesdayTwo

Early this year a friend of mine died in a tragic accident while she was on vacation. After her death I became very angry about a lot of things – and quickly realized that I had a pound of regret I was carrying around. During her funeral, the minister challenged us to let go of any regret we had and to put it aside. I burst into tears realizing that I felt horrible that I didn’t get a chance to thank my friend for all she had done for me and for my children. I didn’t get a chance to remind her that I thought she was the bees knees and super funny. Sure, we communicated most days via social media “likes” and high fives but I did not have a VERBAL conversation with her in way too long. And, I would not be able to do it anymore.

At that point… Tuesday Two developed. Tuesday Two is one way that I decided to answer my issue of regret and to learn from my mistake. Every Tuesday I CALL (not text, not email, not IM, not tweet, not post)… I CALL TWO people that mean the world to me but I don’t often have a conversation with them and I tell them TWO things that I love about them. It’s pretty simple.

I chose Tuesdays because of the alliteration. Sometimes… I just forget things, including doing my Tuesday Two, but the moment I think of it being Tuesday or think or say the word Tuesday I think of my Two. The responses have been amazing – ranging from people crying to laughing to saying – they really needed the call at the moment, it changed their day. It also helps me to reconnect with people in a genuine way. It’s been therapy for me but has also had an impact on the Two people I call.

A few people have asked me about Tuesday Two so I decided to blog about it because – it’s had such an impact on me during my grieving process and has helped me refocus and reconnect with people I love and care about. Social media is great – I have no issue with it, but it simply can’t replace the phone call that you need to have. I hate talking on the phone but it’s necessary.

If I can help it – I don’t want anyone I love going to the grave without them knowing how I feel about them and what I love about them. 

Til Next Tuesday…

But… really, why wait? If someone is on your mind today, call them today, tomorrow is not guaranteed – the only thing we can control is how we treat each other here and now.

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The MOST Wonderful Time Of The Year!!!

Recently Lady C’s teacher sent home a questionnaire to get to know the families of her students. One of the questions was which traditions or holidays are important to us. We had three in particular: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. There is a favorite though! And from the post’s title, I bet you can guess…

THANKSGIVING!!!

(you thought I was going to say Christmas, didn’t you? Ha! Fooled ya!)

Now if you know the Greenes, you know we go HARD for Halloween. Family costumes are a must and it’s a secret until the day of! We love All Hallows’ Eve!

We also love Christmas but we tend not to be too traditional about it. It really doesn’t matter to us whether we’re at home or on a tropical island for Christmas.

But Thanksgiving?! Now that’s the grand daddy of the fall season for us. Hayden is already preparing the menu which includes garlic whipped potatoes, jalapeño Mac & three cheese poppers, and the crowd favorite, bacon wrapped shrimp. Aisha has planted pumpkins in the backyard and they should be ready to decorate the house just in time. When we renovated the living room, the VERY first thought was how much more space we have for the 20+ people that show up at our house.

Speaking of our guests, they are looking forward to this too. Last year, we decided to take a break from BIG Thanksgiving. We won’t be doing that again! It threw EVERYONE’S plans off. And this was with 3 MONTHS of advanced notice!! We have already heard from some of the regulars that they are relieved that Thanksgiving is back at the Greene house!

So yes, the Greenes love the fall holidays. But Turkey Day takes the cake…hmmm…I wonder what kind of cake we should ask Granny to make this year…

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SEE!!! We can’t help ourselves. It all leads back to the best meal of the year!!

Which holidays are important to your family? Which is your family’s favorite season?

He Said, She Said: The Stuffed Animal Debate

The GreenEs need you to solve another internal debate!

Here is the scenario:

You may know that we are a family of four but I’m not sure you know about the newest addition to our family. He’s cute, he’s cuddly, he’s gray, he’s stuffed… he’s Ellie.

Ellie is Lady H’s  stuffed elephant and was actually a gift to our oldest daughter. For the past few months, Lady H (age 2 and a half) won’t let Ellie out of her sight. She sleeps with Ellie, rides in the car with Ellie, sometimes uses the potty with Ellie (vomit), goes to school with Ellie. If Ellie is “missing” she goes to find the stuffed creature and calls out “Ellie, ellie, whereahyou?”

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Aisha, Lady H and … Ellie, on a swing in Brooklyn Bridge Park

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Lady H jumping on mommy and daddy’s bed with… Ellie

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Lady H at the dining room table with …Ellie and our friend Pinky Pie.

If you give her something else to do or play with, she will put Ellie down and will actually forget about him until she becomes idle again.  Upon her teacher’s request, Ellie is placed away in a cubby during school hours so that Lady H will still be engaged in the classroom because she was only playing with Ellie for awhile (oops!).

So – what to do about Ellie then…

SHE SAID: LET HER KEEP THE ELLIE – SHE’LL GROW OUT OF IT

Aside from having to sneak Ellie away from Lady H while she’s not looking, the stuffed animal is pretty harmless. Yes, it gets gross from being dragged all over NYC including parks and beaches but wash her up and let her play with it. It relaxes her and she considers it a companion. We do need to be vigilant about her not giving all her attention to Ellie and make sure she plays with toys, read books, colors etc. Eventually, she will grow out of her need for Ellie but right now, let her enjoy her friend.

HE SAID: THROW ELLIE OUT WHEN SHE’S NOT LOOKING AND DON’T LOOK BACK!

Ellie is everywhere and always in Lady H’s hand. She is reduced to a one-armed bandit! She tries to climb the stairs with the thing, or eat meals, or climb into the car. It’s a bit problematic and dangerous. Plus if she wants her Ellie and he’s not around?!?! Lawd help us all!! Lastly, when she is riding on my shoulders, guess where Ellie is? That’s right: in my face!! She is way too attached and I would love to reduce “Ellie Time” to nap and bed time. She has shown that she can go without him at school. Home should be the same.

What say you… chime in on the Ellie debate. Do you agree with what HE SAID or SHE SAID?

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