I hang out with my girls without their mother all the time dating all the way back to when there was only ONE girl! Back then I had to figure out how to take Lady C to the bathroom. I figured out the technique for taking her to men’s room and making sure she didn’t touch anything in those disgusting facilities. However, going to the bathroom myself was a horse of a different color. I am hyper sensitive about my daughters seeing my genitalia. Mom and Lady C take showers together and they have all the same bits and pieces. I wasn’t ready to have a discussion about why daddy has a penis and she and mommy don’t. So going to the bathroom coupled that need for modesty with the need to stay sanitized. Figured out the whole get a stall, turn the kid around, and do your business. Fast forward 3 years and now there are TWO OF THEM! I hadn’t had an occasion to figure out relieving myself yet. Either I have been close to home or just held it until I was around more people. However, I had an incident recently and had to pee with two girls in tow, one of which is the busiest 15 month old EVER! I needed some advice so I went to the modern day oracle: Facebook! The answers were helpful, hilarious, and thought provoking. Observe:
Shima G. You have to use a stall, keep them sequestered, and tell them not to touch anything. When Rhys was small, I would keep her strapped to me while I used it. Now, she knows…she even says, “No toca nada!” (our specific bathroom command) whenever we enter a public restroom.
Whitney P. What Shima said too. I put the fear of God in mine about touching stuff in the bathroom. My daughter (5) gets it, but my three year old…I turned my back to help my daughter and he was literally rolling on the floor. I wanted to strip him and hose him down right there. Luckily it was relatively clean, but still…*shudders*
Derek F. Brooklyn usually has plenty of savory characters showering in one of the bathroom sinks. Have one of them hold the toddler…wait…..
Vinny J. Step one: Don’t miss.
The comments made me laugh (which didn’t help on a full bladder) and some were helpful. I was going to put Lady H on my shoulder and tell Lady C to turn around in the stall. Luckily, I found a hidden family bathroom in the mall and was able to roll Lady H in her stroller and make sure Lady C was in the corner. The last bit about this experience was some of the unexpected backlash about the fact that women navigate these issues all the time and don’t need to ask for help. I think there is not enough credit given to moms and all of the amazing multitasking superhuman tasks that they perform. However, it’s a dangerous slippery slope when we diminish the efforts of a man trying to be active in their child’s life. There are far less resources for involved fathers than there are for moms. Cut us some slack. Telling us that women can do that with one hand tied behind their back, while jumping double dutch, as you’re booking the family vacation on line, and changing a screaming baby’s diaper. We get it. We’re trying. We’ll never be moms!
Hope you enjoyed my peril. Stay tuned for more Daddy Problems! Next up, the play date!